Top three things your student really needs

You can't go near a shop at this time of year without offers for student starter packs and comprehensive checklists (thanks for this one,  John Lewis).

It all feels quite comforting (if pricey).  It makes you feel you're in control when inside you're probably panicking about what the future holds. It's a way of fending off the terrifying notion that you've done your job: from now on you'll have to let your child make his or her own mistakes.

Of course, it goes without saying that students don't need all this stuff.  (I'm not proud to admit that I packed my eldest off with no duvet, so he froze through the Newcastle nights with the cheapest 4.5 tog he could afford.)

Three things students really need to get a head start:

• simple recipes of favourite meals that are easy/microwavable.
• something comforting from home.  A recent survey found that nearly a third of students take    their  old teddy. 
•  a note or card from you - saying all the stuff you'll forget to say when it comes to saying goodbye

And forgive me for being cheesy,  but what they really need is to know that you'll always be there when they do make their own mistakes.

Empty Nest fast approaching? How to prepare

                                             print by Carol Wilhide

It's hard to know how best to prepare for the empty nest because you really have no idea how it's going to hit you.  You might end up driving back down the motorway with tears streaming down your face,  or you might just feel it's all...well... OK.

But you can start preparing now by thinking creatively about what your new life will be like and the different ways you might adjust to a new routine. You can prepare your child too. They'll be much happier if they know the basics of looking after themselves.

 However, the main thing now is to shift your focus away from your child and back on to you. To explore what you really like doing, and discover what truly fulfils you.

• Think about the times you're likely to miss your child the most, and make a plan to fill the gap: listen to a podcast, phone a friend,  meet someone. 

• Make a list of stuff you know will cheer you up when you're down

• Plan treats for the week after they've left - the more self-indulgent the better

• Look into courses that interest you.

• Sit down with your partner and make a list of stuff you'd like to do together over the next year.  Don't think 'He/she wouldn't like line dancing/birdwatching/ going to the footie. You might be surprised. 

• Book a fabulous holiday and weekends away

• Read about how other parents coped:   'The Empty Nest: how to survive and stay close to your adult child' is a good place to start! (even though I say so myself)