But what no one tells you is that it can also be a wonderful opportunity to get to know each other - and appreciate each other - as adults.
Here are a few tips to keep life sweet (ish).
But first, some common mistakes parents make (I know, I know…..)
MISTAKES BOOMERANG PARENTS MAKE
- Don't do his washing! Encourage your child to live as independently as possible
- Don't take it to heart if they criticise you for not using organic polenta. Ask them to do a household shop with a budget to understand the choices you make about food.
- Don't forget to discuss the new status quo with your partner. Mothers and fathers often have different views about money, independence - and apron strings! - so aim for a united compromise.
- Don't expect to lay down the law. From now on it's about respecting each other as adults.
- No curfews. Again, this comes down to mutual consideration.
HOW BOOMERANG PARENTS CAN KEEP LIFE SWEET
- Come to an agreement about how long they're likely to stay. Make it clear the date can be renegotiated when the time's up. Setting a time limit helps overcome the emotional uncertainty parents often find hard - because you don't know when you'll have to say goodbye again.
- Renegotiate ground rules to pre-empt the most common sources of tension: noise and mess.
- Allow each other privacy and space - it's even more important now than when they were teenagers.
- Let each other know when you're going out for the evening or away for the weekend, and give as much warning as you can.
- Work out what's a reasonable financial contribution for them to make.
More advice:
my article 'How to Live with your Boomerang students' in High50 Don't Bite Your Tongue by Ruth Nemzoff
