Sunday 16 December 2018

Last-minute Christmas presents for empty nest parents

Empty nesters have spent years thinking about other people.  Now it's time to focus on themselves.   Look for something they'll really like,  not something for the kitchen or garden.  The more self-indulgent the better! 


FOR EMPTY NEST MUMS:

  • A gift voucher for a massage or manicure. 
  •  Nail polish.
  •  Champagne
  •  Silk pyjamas 
  •  Music 
  •  A gripping empty nest novel:  Us by David Nicholls, Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout (also on DVDor Joanna Trollope's Second Honeymoon.


FOR EMPTY NEST DADS AND MUMS:

  • A gift voucher to try something new - a riding lesson?  a writing course?  Dancing lessons?  An activity to do together?    Empty nesters are keen to try new activities  - but they often  appreciate a nudge in the right direction. So a book or voucher are great ideas.  Organisations like Creative Breaks have Christmas vouchers for a variety of courses.
  •  An inspiring travel guide, like Lonely Planet's Ultimate Travelist  
  •  'Mamma Mia' on DVD - OK it's a cheesy old chestnut but it's very cathartic.  Grown men weep when Meryl sings 'Slipping through my fingers' to her departing daughter.  
  •  Two photograph albums - one for nostalgic family pics, the other for the adventures ahead.  Shepherds near Victoria station in London has  beautiful ones

Friday 7 September 2018

Top three things your student really needs





You can't go near a shop at this time of year without offers for student starter packs and comprehensive checklists (thanks for this one,  John Lewis).

It all feels quite comforting (if pricey).  It makes you feel you're in control when inside you're probably panicking about what the future holds. It's a way of fending off the terrifying notion that you've done your job: from now on you'll have to let your child make his or her own mistakes.

Of course, it goes without saying that students don't need all this stuff.  (I'm not proud to admit that I packed my eldest off with no duvet, so he froze through the Newcastle nights with the cheapest 4.5 tog he could afford.)

Three things students really need to get a head start:

  • simple recipes of favourite meals that are easy/microwavable.
  • something comforting from home.  A recent survey found that nearly a third of students take    their  old teddy. 
  •  a note or card from you - saying all the stuff you'll forget to say when it comes to saying goodbye

And forgive me for being cheesy,  but what they really need is to know that you'll always be there when they do make their own mistakes.


Empty Nest fast approaching? How to prepare


                                             print by Carol Wilhide

It's hard to know how best to prepare for the empty nest because you really have no idea how it's going to hit you.  You might end up driving back down the motorway with tears streaming down your face,  or you might just feel it's all...well... OK.

But you can start preparing now by thinking creatively about what your new life will be like and the different ways you might adjust to a new routine. You can prepare your child too. They'll be much happier if they know the basics of looking after themselves.

 However, the main thing now is to shift your focus away from your child and back on to you. To explore what you really like doing, and discover what truly fulfils you.
  • Think about the times you're likely to miss your child the most, and make a plan to fill the gap: listen to a podcast, phone a friend,  meet someone. 
  • Make a list of stuff you know will cheer you up when you're down
  • Plan treats for the week after they've left - the more self-indulgent the better
  • Look into courses that interest you.
  • Sit down with your partner and make a list of stuff you'd like to do together over the next year.  Don't think 'He/she wouldn't like line dancing/birdwatching/ going to the footie. You might be surprised. 
  • Book a fabulous holiday and weekends away